Quote of the Day (2010-08-31)

[Rugen has invited Humperdinck to watch Westley being tortured]

Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped.

Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-08-29)

Ilsa: A franc for your thoughts.

Rick: In America they'd bring only a penny, and, huh, I guess that's about all they're worth.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2010-08-28)

Sir Humphrey: "If there had been investigations, which there haven't, or not necessarily, or I'm not at liberty to say whether there have, there would have been a project team which, had it existed, on which I cannot comment, which would now have disbanded, if it had existed, and the members returned to their original departments, if indeed there had been any such members."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-27)

[at Juno's ultrasound]

Leah: Whoa! Check out Baby Big Head. Dude, that thing is freaky lookin'.

Juno MacGuff: Excuse me. I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you've got in your stomach is Taco Bell.

Source: Juno

Quote of the Day (2010-08-26)

Basil Fawlty: [exasperated with Manuel] Please! Try to understand before one of us dies.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2010-08-25)

Westley: I told you I would always come for you. Why didn't you wait for me?

Buttercup: Well... you were dead.

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while.

Buttercup: I will never doubt again.

Westley: There will never be a need.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-08-24)

[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]

Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE.

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

Source: The Princess Bride

Quote of the Day (2010-08-23)

[after Milhouse moves out of town, Skinner and Willie are shocked to learn that Bart and Lisa have become best friends]

Groundskeeper Willie: It won't last. Brothers and sisters are natural enemies. Like Englishmen and Scots! Or Welshmen and Scots! Or Japanese and Scots! Or Scots and other Scots! Damn Scots! They ruined Scotland!

Principal Skinner: You Scots sure are a contentious people.

Groundskeeper Willie: You just made an enemy for life!

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-08-22)

Jim Hacker: "I have made a policy decision. I am going to do something about the number of women in the Civil Service."

Sir Humphrey: "Surely there aren't all that many?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-21)

"You know, it is so sad. All your knowledge of high culture comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-08-20)

Captain Renault: Carl, see that Major Strasser gets a good table, one close to the ladies.

Carl: I have already given him the best, knowing he is German and would take it anyway.

Source: Casablanca

Quote of the Day (2010-08-19)

Toula Portokalos: Ma, Dad is so stubborn. What he says goes. "Ah, the man is the head of the house!"

Maria Portokalos: Let me tell you something, Toula. The man is the head, but the woman is the neck. And she can turn the head any way she wants.

Source: My Big Fat Greek Wedding

Quote of the Day (2010-08-18)

George: "Beautiful women... Ya know, they get away with murder. You never see one of them lift anything over three pounds. They do whatever they want, whenever they want to, and nobody can stop them."

Jerry: "She's like a beautiful Godzilla."

George: "And I'm thousands of fleeing Japanese!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2010-08-17)

Sir Humphrey: "Arnold, are you suggesting that I should have the Prime Minister crawling all over Salisbury Plain, with a mine detector in one hand and a packet of Winalot in the other?"

Sir Arnold: "It would probably do Britain less harm than anything else he is likely to be doing."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-16)

Jennifer Grogan: Hi guys, alright, say hello to Colleen!

Conor: Daddy says her name is 'whoops'!

Source: Marley and Me

Quote of the Day (2010-08-15)

Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2010-08-14)

Gareth: I've got a new theory about marriage. Two people are in love, they live together, and then suddenly one day, they run out of conversation.

Charles: Uh-huh.

Gareth: Totally. I mean they can't think of a single thing to say to each other. That's it: panic! Then suddenly it-it occurs to the chap that there is a way out of the deadlock.

Charles: Which is?

Gareth: He'll ask her to marry him.

Charles: Brilliant! Brilliant!

Gareth: Suddenly they've got something to talk about for the rest of their lives.

Charles: Basically you're saying marriage is just a way of getting out of an embarrassing pause in conversation.

Gareth: The definitive icebreaker.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2010-08-13)

Sir Humphrey: "Well, we can always try to persuade them [the BBC] to withdraw programs voluntarily, once they realize that transmission is not in the public interest."

Jim Hacker: "Well, it is not in my interest. And I represent the public, so it is not in the public interest."

Sir Humphrey: "That's a novel argument. We haven't tried that on them before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-12)

Jim Hacker: "Don't tell me about the press. I know exactly who reads the papers:

- The Daily Mirror is read by people who think they run the country;

- The Guardian is read by people who think they ought to run the country;

- The Times is read by people who actually do run the country;

- The Daily Mail is read by the wives of the people who run the country;

- The Financial Times is read by people who own the country;

- The Morning Star is read by people who think the country ought to be run by another country;

- And the Daily Telegraph is read by people who think it is."

Sir Humphrey: "Prime Minister, what about the people who read the Sun?"

Bernard Woolley: "Sun readers don't care who runs the country, as long as she's got big tits."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-11)

Carol: OK, we all have these terrible stories to get over, and you-...

Melvin Udall: It's not true. Some have great stories, pretty stories that take place at lakes with boats and friends and noodle salad. Just no one in this car. But, a lot of people, that's their story. Good times, noodle salad. What makes it so hard is not that you had it bad, but that you're that pissed that so many others had it good.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2010-08-10)

Macaulay Connor: Uh-oh, Liz, what did I tell you? Look, how do you like this - living room, sitting room, terrace, pool, stables.

Elizabeth (Liz) Imbrie: That's probably so they can talk to the horses without having them in the house.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2010-08-09)

James Hacker: You think I could? Grasp the nettle? Take the bull by the horns?

Bernard Woolley: Prime Minister, you can't take the bull by the horns if you're grasping the nettle.

James Hacker: Oh, really, Bernard?

Bernard Woolley: All I meant was, if you grasp the nettle with one hand, you could take the bull by one horn with the other hand, but not both horns because your hand isn't big enough. And if you did take the bull by one horn, it would be rather dangerous because

[he acts out a bull butting out at someone]

Bernard Woolley: . Well, it was just a mixed metaphor, and since we were discussing education, I, I just...

[phone rings]

Bernard Woolley: Thank God.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-08)

Jim Hacker: "Bernard, how did Sir Humphrey know I was with Dr. Cartwright?"

Bernard Woolley: "God moves in a mysterious way."

Jim Hacker: "Let me make one thing perfectly clear: Humphrey is not God, okay."

Bernard Woolley: "Will you tell him or shall I?"

Jim Hacker: "Tell me how he knew where I was."

Bernard Woolley: "Well, confidentially Minister, everything you tell me is in complete confidence, so equally, and I am sure you appreciate this, and by appreciate I don't actually mean appreciate, I mean understand, that everything Sir Humphrey tells me is also in complete confidence, as indeed everything I tell you is in complete confidence, and for that matter everything I tell Sir Humphrey is in complete confidence."

Jim Hacker: "So?"

Bernard Woolley: "So in complete confidence, I am confident that you understand that for me to keep Sir Humphrey's confidence and your confidence, means that conversations between him and me must be completely confidential, as confidential in fact as conversations between you and me are completely confidential."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-07)

Joan Littler: "What I insist on knowing is what is the actual difference between dioxin and metadioxin."

Sir Humphrey: "Well, that's quite simple. Metadioxin is an inert compound of dioxin."

Jim Hacker: "I think I follow that, Humphrey, but could you explain it a little more clearly?"

Sir Humphrey: "In what sense, Minister?"

Joan Littler: "What does inert mean?"

Sir Humphrey: "It means it is not......ert."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-06)

Niles: Her lips said no, but her eyes said read my lips.

Source: Frasier

Quote of the Day (2010-08-05)

Parole Board chairman: They've got a name for people like you H.I. That name is called "recidivism."

Parole Board member: Repeat offender!

Parole Board chairman: Not a pretty name, is it H.I.?

H.I.: No, sir. That's one bonehead name, but that ain't me any more.

Parole Board chairman: You're not just telling us what we want to hear?

H.I.: No, sir, no way.

Parole Board member: 'Cause we just want to hear the truth.

H.I.: Well, then I guess I am telling you what you want to hear.

Parole Board chairman: Boy, didn't we just tell you not to do that?

H.I.: Yes, sir.

Parole Board chairman: Okay, then.

Source: Raising Arizona

Quote of the Day (2010-08-04)

[Bart has had his ear pierced]

Lisa: An earring, how rebellious. In a conformist sort of way.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2010-08-03)

Bernard Woolley: "They cannot stop us eating the British sausage, can they?"

Jim Hacker: "They can stop us calling it a sausage though. Apparently it has got to be called the Emulsified High-Fat Offal Tube."

Bernard Woolley: "And you swallowed it?"

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2010-08-02)

Sybil Fawlty: [on the phone] I know....I know....I know...Oh, I know!

Basil Fawlty: Then why is she telling you?!

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2010-08-01)

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.

Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...

Ian Faith: Sex-IST!

David St. Hubbins: IST!

Source: This is Spinal Tap